From ‘men will be men’ to ‘women need to give up their careers in order to look after their home while men shall go out and make money’, each one of us out there has experienced at least one of the numerous outcomes of patriarchy. The problem in hand goes deeper than it appears to. Besides its very existence, the problem with patriarchy is how normal it has become to be, which is also to say how comfortably it has been embedded into all our minds, and how internally it exists in all our lives. To lay the very foundation for my arguments, I would like to bring forth the origin of the term ‘woman’, the ‘wo’ stands for wife and the latter half ‘man’ stands for what it says a man, that is a woman is literally the wife of a man. Hence, one of the most common terms assigned to adult girls- woman, has been derived from a notion which makes them subordinates to man. And not to mention that it has stapled the existence of females eternally to that of a man. The fact to be duly noted here is that this list of such terms in the English language does not with ‘woman’, there are many other terms like- females which are derived from a similar term for the masculine gender. The very existence of this article besides at least a million others based on this subject is evidence strong enough to suggest how important it is for us students as the youth and future of our nation to fight the forces which have managed to root patriarchy till date.
In its literal essence patriarchy, as we all know, means ‘the absolute rule of the eldest male, or the father figure of the family’ which is not only hugely sexist, but also extremely problematic. The most problematic aspect is the psychologically crushing effect that it exerts on both women and men almost equally in today’s times. The term is, historically speaking, an epitome of gender roles and a meaningless dichotomy. The traditional aspect of the term does nothing but lays a rigid set of rules which one burdens men with a plethora of responsibilities stripping them of the comforts of emotions. And two denies even a fraction of space for women to voice out their opinions and needs let alone equality. With the onset of 2020, it is high time that we as students both males and females walk right out from under the umbrella of patriarchy, and work towards building a visionary where a man fully supports and abides by the needs and beliefs of a woman and vice versa.
Respect and consent are two of the most common rights associated with one’s identity as a human, but these two, unfortunately, are also the worst prey of patriarchy. In India one of the most commonly recurring statements, ‘Betiyan toh paraya dhan hoti hai’, is radically discriminative, and an unfortunate outcome of centuries of patriarchal practices. The timeline of an Indian girl’s life who has from times immemorial been deemed as a loan, from allotting a small or zero per cent share in the family’s properties and heirlooms to the amount of dowry at the time of her marriage which also marks the end of her association with her birth-family and is signified as the ‘beginning of a new life’, is decided within minutes of her birth. Hence eliminating both the aspects of giving her the respect as an heir, and asking for her consent when it comes to deciding upon the matters of her own life. Another one of such statements which is more like a choice of life that has specifically been imposed upon Indian girls is that ‘Girls are meant to be great wives and mothers’. Needless to say, this notion again conveniently eliminates the aspect of respect that the girls deserve fundamentally as humans and that of consent which should guarantee the right to choose their expectations, hopes and aspirations.
Having barely scratched the rusted surface of the Feminism movement in India, I believe, as a university-attending student, I might have failed to keep up with my share in doing what it takes when it comes to countering the narratives and experiences that only encourage and propagate patriarchy. For instance, the very comfort that everyone around the university seeks in the usage of cuss words to express anger in a raw form. Needless to get into the literature review of a huge variety of abuses which have, from times immemorial, settled in the daily vocabulary of an average Indian. Next in the list comes the propagation of the belief which on a scale from partially to heavily ignores the concept of consent. Be it online dating applications, social media platforms or the roads of the campus, some people fail to understand and respect the phrase “No, I’m good, thanks” or even at times, manage to assume consent. Do not get me started on the infamous tendency in girls to assume that if a boy is either ghosting her or takes his anger out on her it is just because, at the end of the day, he loves her and that they are close enough to justify that. A similar notion that goes around too commonly is that, “If he’s said it’s good, it’s good. I needn’t overthink”. The last one that I would like to mention is the concept of stalking, yes, both online and offline. Let me simply put it here. It is not cool to stalk someone. It is straight-up scary. Some girls, on the other hand, unfortunately, seek some sort of validation in getting stalked. Again, it is not cool, it is just scary to measure the depths of insanity which might have motivated someone to stalk you.
As commonly perceived by ‘humanists’ these days, ‘Propagation of matriarchy is what these feminists need to counter patriarchy’. No, we do not. The solution to such a historical and deep-rooted school of thought which has also conveniently become the ‘way of life’ for some people is not its antonym. It never was, and it never will be. To begin with, one of the many solutions to countering patriarchy is to scratch it in the first place. The solution is to change what you think. The solution is to normalise not stereotyping or discriminating against a group of individuals just because they belong to a particular gender. The solution is respect. And the solution is to read, learn and make things better and more comfortable for both men and womxn when placed alone in a room, or on an empty road together. The solution and a change will not come instantly and would call for equal efforts from all of our ends. We should be in this together, and I hope my words managed to convince you to give in to what I believe could be one of the best changes to have ever taken place.
Author-
Khushi Agarwal
khushi31agarwal@gmail.com
Khushi is currently pursuing her majors in Mathematics from Daulat Ram College, University of Delhi. She loves to talk and is an avid day-dreamer. She wishes to create a lasting impact by not only learning new things, but also by helping anyone and everyone with her journey at the Women’s Development Cell.
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