“Everybody knows what my sexual orientation is. I don’t need to scream it out. If I need to spell it out, I won’t only because I live in a country where I could possibly be jailed for saying this. Which is why I Karan Johar will not say the three words that possibly everybody knows about me.”
Karan Johar, noted Indian filmmaker and producer, in An Unsuitable Boy (2017).
Why is it necessary for me to have ‘queer’ in my Instagram bio? Why should I correct people when they use the wrong pronouns? Why have a rainbow tattoo on my ankle? Jenna Blum, writer and activist, suggests that the answer to all of the above might be this simple fact- “Representation is important. Lesbian visibility is important!” and we can’t agree more.
What is lesbian visibility and why are people all over the world commemorating it on every 26th of April, (Lesbian Visibility Day) since 2008? These are some significant questions which must be answered before we proceed to the more complex issues surrounding lesbian visibility, especially in the Indian subcontinent. Lesbian visibility refers to the acceptance, acknowledgement and celebration of lesbian and non-binary identities in the public sphere to materialize the often-professed notion of inclusivity of sexuality and gender (among myriad other marginalized aspects like class, caste, so on) in society at the local, national and global levels. What the Lesbian Visibility Day strives to do is to wholeheartedly celebrate the wonderful diversity in the LGBTQIA+ community, as well as to break some of the prevalent stereotypes about what it means to be ‘lesbian’. It gives a platform to strong lesbian role models, whose stories make us all feel visible too. That's why this day matters. DIVA Media Group which is a leading LBTQ media group in Europe adds that- “It is essential that Lesbian Visibility Week is a voice for unity and lifts up ALL women, especially those who come from marginalised communities. Recent research (Pride Matters survey, conducted by Pride in London 2018) has shown that gay women are almost twice as unlikely to be out in the workplace as gay male colleagues.” Henceforth, we shall be exploring the visibility of lesbian and non-binary identities through stories of ordinary people as well as ones who are forever under the blinding glare of limelight in the Indian context.
Internationally acclaimed filmmaker and writer, Shonali Bose, in a recent interview with Pinkvilla on the occasion of International Women’s Day 2021, went on to reinforce her identity as a proud bisexual woman and added- “I hope, the youth today don’t have that shame and have more courage to come out.” Bose’s hopes about “the youth today” might turn out to be rather dubious as evinced by Vishakha’s story- a 20-year-old college student from Cuttack, Odisha, who proudly identifies as a bisexual woman.
Vishakha’s opening remark in our hour-long conversation was- Who can pleasure a woman better than a woman? This is a very significant entry point to understand the dilemmas faced by queer identities. The taboo associated with lesbian Indian identities is also the one which prohibits an open conversation about sexual pleasure experienced by women which in the Indian context, statistically speaking, is non-existent (please refer to orgasm inequality and gendered nature of masturbation). Furthermore, Vishakha demands to know- "Why can't I talk about my partner or hold their hand in public when my other cis-het friends are free to declare their love wherever and whenever possible?"
Vishakha says that she believes in contributing to a less hetero-normative, and thereby a less toxic society. "In order to do that we need more lesbian and queer visibility", she says- “When two women raise a child, the child is said to be more emotionally mature and respectful to women's needs and values, thus disrupting patriarchy’s fundamental goal- to treat women pathetically.”
“Where the question of coming out as a lesbian or bisexual woman is concerned”, she continues, “in my case I have seen people struggling with comments from female friends like- Are you hitting on me? -after complimenting them or like just existing! -which is very upsetting and gets on my nerves, always! If I identify as lesbian or bisexual or queer, then how am I suddenly changing or becoming someone else in your eyes?! Sadly, this fear of getting called out or losing friends might also cause many people, especially teenagers, to remain closeted all through their lives.
Vishakha also comments- “The reason why we are still arguing about the validity and visibility of lesbian identities in the 21st century is because of men! Especially in India, men feel insecure at the thought of women no longer ‘needing’ them to feel safe (ironic) or for anything!”
On the question of marriage and raising a family, Vishakha says- “Renting a place is a big issue for any lesbian couple in India… also while raising up a child, the child might face bullying in school…anyways adoption for queer couples, in India is legally impossible- which is why many lesbian couples cannot and choose not to have a heteronormatively defined family. Indian society is deeply patriarchal and treats mothers unfairly let alone lesbian mothers who are very unlikely to receive support. And lastly, she says- “It's so important to feel that you are part of a community. Feeling alone, like you are the only one, can be emotionally unsettling and scarring. They will need to feel valid and appreciated. Young people who continue to go through the challenges of self-discovery and will always need to see a world in which their identities are represented and role models exist. So, it is important to scream out loud (louder for the ones at the back)- Happy Lesbian Visibility Day 2021!”
23-year-old Indian sprinter, Dutee Chand came out in 2019 (post-India's historic decision to decriminalise gay sex in 2018), as she was in love with 19-year-old woman from her village in Odisha whom she lovingly called her soulmate. Dutee went on to become India's first openly queer athlete, and continues facing a barrage of criticism from her family and people at home.
In the context of the backlash faced by Dutee, an author at The Wire writes- “India, a deeply misogynist, heteronormative and Sanskritised-Brahmanical society, still flinches at the thought of providing the LGBTQIA+ community its rights.” This statement reflects the anguish of the LGBTQIA+ community when public visibility of lesbian identities, especially that of people in limelight, faces such attacks. However, the same statement fails to take into account the rich history of gender-fluidity in the context of public lives as well as love, in the Indian subcontinent (the term "India" is relatively new and evolving; it didn't exist, in the way it does today, pre-1947).
Eminent scholar and Professor English and World Cultures at the University of Montana, Dr. Ruth Vanita, has extensively worked on mapping gender and sexuality in the Indian subcontinent in the past, in her books like Queering India: Same-Sex Love and Eroticism in Indian Culture and Society (2001) and Love's Rite: Same-Sex Marriage in India and the West (2005). Queering India was the first book to provide an understanding of same-sex love and eroticism in Indian culture and society. The essays in the volume focus on pre-colonial, colonial, and post-colonial gay and lesbian life in India to provide a comprehensive look at a much-neglected topic through films [like Fire (1996)], literature, popular culture, historical and religious texts, law and other aspects of life in India.
In a recent interview with Swaddle, she said- “Interestingly, it [Urdu Rekhti poery] doesn’t dwell on women being wives and mothers. That’s barely mentioned. It dwells on the pleasures of life, on shopping, and excursions, and picnics, and conversations, and friendships, and love, and servants, and fighting with the servants, or conversing with the servants, or gossiping…”
The contemporary is a volatile ground. Today we look up to the western standards of inclusivity to create recognise, celebrate or support lesbian, bisexual, transgender and queer women to be their true selves at work, at home and socially, while our own rich heritage of Urdu Rekhti poetry, baul and kirtan (Gaudiya Vaishnavism) in rural Bengal, and numerous other strategies of subverting heteronormativity, lay in complete abandon. It is time to stand face-to-face with the historicity of gender and sexuality in India and navigate through cultural barriers to celebrate queer love in homes, offices, schools, colleges- everywhere.
This April, I am proud to celebrate the strong lesbian women in my life. They are all different. They are not what you think they are. They are wonderful and diverse. As Jenna says-
“But I am not here to play a role for other people. I am not one thing. I am much more than that. We all are… From this moment forward, I will be visible.”
Sources
Piece by-
Pronita Tripathi
pronitatripathi15@gmail.com
Biography: Pronita is currently studying English Literature from Delhi University. She is an art enthusiast with a love for writing, reading and cinema. She hopes to debunk the multiple stereotypes associated with Humanities Studies and become a worthy English Professor to her future students. She can’t wait to meet them! On most days Pronita chooses sleep over everything else, and on some everything else over sleep.
Comments