Disclaimer- We aren’t licensed professionals. All the things mentioned in the article are from an individual perspective and shouldn’t be seen as a replacement for therapy.
There comes a moment in everybody’s lives when they feel frustrated, lost, disconnected from themselves when they simply throw their hands in the air and say, “I can’t take this anymore” and the list of ‘issues’ seems never-ending. Once one faces these problems in their lives, they eventually pass the window of tolerance. When this happens, we either clean up or we become full. That is, we either feel safe and supported and are possibly able to address events that threaten us. However, there is also a chance that once a nerve-racking or traumatic event happens, our window of tolerance might become slim.
When an individual believes the stressors of their lives are way too complex to manage, they might feel powerless. If too many conflicting and distressful feelings occur at the same time, emotional overwhelm is bound to happen. When this happens, they're perhaps unable to assume or act rationally or functionally, and emotional overwhelm might impact their relationships or career. People share several sources of stress, like financial matters, job security, health, relationship problems, etc. However, women are prone to some problems because of the various roles they have to undertake. They feel powerless as a result of societal pressures and obligations. Somehow, it's typically seen, that, women pay longer hours meeting the needs of others instead of taking care of themselves.
Many of us, while talking about the fact that they are feeling overwhelmed, talk about the way these emotions tend to cause severe stress that affects their thought process. The issue regarding experiencing overwhelming emotions is that it’s difficult to try and make your brain/body co-operate with logic. A person might look totally fine but inside they might be a ball of nerves, being restless, fearful, and in general, afraid. One might have frequent crying spells, experience sleep difficulties, face issues in concentrating, speaking before people, etc.
Trying to control your emotions doesn’t really work all the time. It is rightly said that you can't control how you feel; the only thing you can control is how you respond to your feelings. So, I, Riddima, asked my friends, how do they generally deal with overwhelming emotions.
One of my friends said, “Wear comfortable pajamas, light some candles, treat yourself with a cup of tea. Have a quaint show marathon with popcorn and unwind.”
Basically, I feel, finding joy in the little things can help one to cope. This can range from looking out from your window at that bird chirping away or sitting with your family, even perhaps in silence, and being near them. These ‘little things’ can be different for everyone. Don’t force yourself to be or to not be isolated. It is sometimes difficult to reach out to your loved ones, and that’s okay. Take your time but also know that you aren’t alone.
One of my other friends said, “No matter how cliché it sounds, but listen to your body. Sometimes, it is trying to give you signs, try and recognize that. Take good care of your body, have a proper sleep routine, regular exercise can work wonders on your stress levels, as well.”
Even Journaling can be a very cathartic thing when you do it daily. Keep your journal with you and jot down intense emotions or feelings as they happen. Putting feelings onto paper can allow you to reflect on them more deeply. Journaling also helps people find solutions to problems they have, as well as accept and learn to let go of things beyond their control. Moreover, when in face of something adverse, just pause for a second, and breathe deeply. Breathe in counts as it forces your brain to think of the counts and takes you out of the mental space you are currently in. It might seem too easy while one is learning about it and a little too difficult in practice, but you got this!
One of my friend notes, “Practice mindfulness, i.e., being fully and nonjudgmentally aware of the present, noticing the sights, sounds, and smell around you, as well as the feelings and sensations within you. Another way is to meditate and it’s a lot easier than you might think. Simply taking five to ten minutes a day can act as a practice for when you experience emotions in your regular life. “
All these are definitely important steps but they all begin with one simple task of accepting and acknowledging your emotions - all of them. Accepting emotions as they can help you get more comfortable with them. Increasing your comfort around intense emotions allows you to fully feel them without reacting in extreme, unhelpful ways. Society has made us believe that anger is bad and sadness is undesirable and one should always be happy, but that’s not true and not at all possible. One cannot be, always happy. What one can do is acknowledge when they are sad, and be hopeful for better times.
It is important to understand that emotions are essential, either pleasant or unpleasant, to them. We often have a more ‘liking’ for pleasant emotions such as showing love, excitement, joy. At first, it seems like the right thing to push away the unpleasant emotions or say a big no for showing anger, frustration, etc. But the thing is bottling up your emotions might not work – in fact, it might get worse which may eventually lead to more imbalances. So, it becomes of utmost importance to monitor your emotions, try and regulate them, rather than suppress them and talk about them, with someone you trust.
To conclude, one can say that it’s impossible to seek a life with no downs and all ups. That might not happen. But it is healthy for us to seek out ways to come out of the ‘downs’ successfully. To be a better version of oneself and to know that one is never alone.
Sources:
https://www.mhanational.org/helpful-vs-harmful-ways-manage-emotions
About the Author:
Riddima Singh is currently pursuing Bachelor in Commerce from the University of Delhi. She is a coffee addict and she loves to observe people. When she’s free she can usually be found binge-watching her favorite series. You can reach out to her for conversations about music, movies, and food.
Relatable!